The Husband-Bashing Memes

So my last post touched on the subject of men being perfectly capable of handling domestic chores and raising children on their own. This post is going to dive a little deeper into that, because lately I've noticed an increasing trend among the Mommy Bloggers:

The "my husband is completely useless, clueless, and hopeless, and I'm tired of doing everything myself" memes are on the rise.

I'll admit, I've seen some of these memes and have laughed. Most of them are really funny and relatable to me. But my situation is different, and I'll touch on that in a bit. Sometimes after I see these memes and laugh I find myself often thinking, "Are their husbands really this lazy?" "Are they making this up, or are their men really this incompetent?"

Ladies, I have to ask: if your man can't do basic tasks such as the laundry, washing dishes or grocery shopping, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MARRY HIM? Did you think he would magically learn this shit? The truth is, even if his parents never taught him these basic life skills, if he wanted to learn, he could have and if you've been with a man for years and he still hasn't even shown an interest in helping you out around the house, I have news for you: that will NEVER change. And for the love of God, don't have children with him thinking he's going to change. I can promise you that almost never happens, and you will be even more miserable and resentful with your never-ending list of chores ON TOP of taking care of a child.

Here is my situation: For a large portion of our life together the burden of household chores and child-rearing has fallen on my shoulders. Often times I am the one in charge of grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking the trash out, bathing, story time, getting kids to daycare. picking them up, getting up in the middle of the night with them, and everything in between without any help from my husband. However, here is the difference: his career takes him away often which leaves me to HAVE TO do it all. It's not that he doesn't know how or doesn't want to, it's because his career comes first. It's how we remain financially stable. Want to know what it's like when he IS home? Pure fucking heaven. Because he knows how to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, take care of the kids. AND HE DOES IT WILLINGLY. When he is home, he is right there beside me in the thick of it, and he picks up the slack wherever necessary.

Is this shocking to you? If it is, I truly feel sorry for you, because I've got some more news for you. Are you ready? THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN OUT THERE WHO CAN DO ALL OF THESE THINGS!!! When I've commented on memes about how my husband and I are equal partners in the house I often get this response: "You lucked out and snagged a rare, good one." Um, no sorry, my husband is not a fucking unicorn, he's a man who was raised right by his family and made sure he knew how to survive on his own.

I've talked with a handful of wives this week and I asked them how often do their husbands help out around the house and what do they do? Some answers:

"He cooks."

"He helps me clean the house."

"He does the laundry if I'm busy with work or the kids."

"He'll go grocery shopping on his way home from work."

These women didn't "get lucky," they didn't marry a "rare catch," they married MEN. You know how these men became men? Men who know how to contribute equally to a marriage? Their parents RAISED them this way. Please, if you have sons, start them young. Teach them how to be independent and how to take care of themselves so when they meet the person they want to settle down with, they can contribute to the marriage. Hell, my son is not even 2 years old yet but he knows to put his dirty clothes into his hamper after his bath and helps me with the laundry (more like he hands me the clothes and *I* put them into the washer and do the rest, but baby steps!). You better believe my husband and I will be showing both our children how to become responsible adults!

I love my husband and often thank my lucky stars that I married a man who will help me when I need it. But let's face it, he's not the only one. He's not even one of the few. Most men today willingly do their fair share around the house and with the kids, and they do a damn good job doing it. So I'll say this again: If you're one of the women who relates to all of these "lazy husband" memes, maybe it's time you realize that while you may be in this situation, not all of us are. Good men do exist, and there are a lot more of them out there than you think.