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The iPad Debate

Yesterday morning I took my two kids out to a diner for breakfast. As we were waiting for our food they were both playing very nicely with some toy dinosaurs, but then it happened...


My son, who's only 14 months old, started to get fussy and was about to throw a fit. Our meals hadn't arrived yet, so I did something I thought was completely harmless: I gave him the iPad I had brought "just in case." It calmed him down long enough to finish waiting for our food, then one it came I took it away so we could eat.


It wasn't until midway through our meal, me elbow-deep in some delicious french toast, when I realized a woman in the booth behind us was talking about me. "See, that is what I hate about parents today," she said, "They'd rather shut their kids up with technology than engage with them. So sad." I didn't bother defending myself to the old biddy, because I know (as do the waiters and waitresses who passed by our booth commenting on how well my kids play together know) I was engaging with my kids out of my ass that morning by playing with them, talking to them, laughing with them, etc. So she can kiss my ass!


We are living in a technology-driven society, and it's time we, as parents, start embracing it. I hear these sentiments all too often and I always think to myself, "what is the big deal about a child using an iPad (or Tablet, or whatever)?" When used properly, they can be great educational tools, which is probably why they are being used in practically every school in the country. You can download many educational FREE games and your kids can watch their favorite shows, many of which are somewhat educational (except for Caillou. He's banned from our home).


I do understand that many children can become addicted to it, and yes that is not okay, but so many people who are complaining about this are doing so FROM THEIR SCREENS. Admit it, you're reading this blog from your phone right now, aren't you? So we can bash parents for their kids being on their tablets too much while we sit here scrolling through our Twitter and Instagram feeds for hours on end throughout the day. You don't want your child staring at screens all day? GET OFF OF YOURS! Lead by example.


I realized this once my son was born. During the weekends when both of my kids are home with me, I try to keep us busy by going to places like the zoo, the aquarium, a bounce house, etc. But on those rainy days, or the days where one of them is sick, or even the days where we just don't feel like going out (no, kids do not always want to go out and do things, just like adults don't), there is not a whole lot of options. My daughter can play for hours with her brother, and I play with them, but then comes his nap time and let's face it, I'm already exhausted and need a break! So while he's napping, I make my daughter some lunch and while she's eating I take the opportunity to sit down and relax. Once I take out my phone and start scrolling I hear, "mom, can I watch my iPad while I eat," and guess what? I usually let her. Why should I have the luxury of using my phone while telling her "no?" It's hypocritical. However, when I notice she is spending an inordinate amount of time watching, it's always when I'm spending more time than normal on my own devices. As soon as I put them down and start doing something as simple as getting a piece of paper, scissors, and start randomly cutting, she puts down her iPad to come see what I'm doing, then asks to join. So now I make sure to keep myself in check by not being on my phone often, and it's working. Again, lead by example. Problem solved!


Engaging with our children is important, absolutely. Talking, playing, listening, teaching, introducing them to the world outside. All of this is vital to their growth and development. But who are we to say they don't deserve some downtime just like the rest of us. Are they not human, too? Just as parents need to chill, so do kids. When they come home from school exhausted and burned out, let them relax. When they don't feel like playing and just want to be by themselves, that is okay. Let them. And when they need a break from the world for a little while, let them zone out with a screen. They will be okay.


 
 
 

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